suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
