uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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