I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
