My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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