Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
