brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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