i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
