Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
