Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm determined to sit on that face.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
