At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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