I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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