i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
