i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
