shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize