You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
