Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
There are leaves in my underwear?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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