So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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