i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
