he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
