I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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