i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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