Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
