So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
