I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
