White coat. Heels.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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