No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
