five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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