So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
