I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
