No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
