Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
