Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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