I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize