So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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