I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I think I sprained my soul last night
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Randomize
