I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
