Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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