His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
