We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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