have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
