jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
