He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
