There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
There's always time for handjobs
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
