dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
