Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
