Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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