Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
