he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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