dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
babies were throwing up all over the place
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
