Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
