I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I pour the whiskey from now on
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize