I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
