Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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