So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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