I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
i believe in u and ur pee
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