Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
