I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
