the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
They took my balls.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Dicks are not precious.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
