I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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