i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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