so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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