2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
they're like a gay fantastic four
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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